I still feel good. A bit tired and prone to postural hypotension, nothing extreme. No nausea. A few abdominal twinges here and there. A bit of bloating.
Every night, I write down what I am grateful for, and every night for the last two weeks, I have been grateful for another day feeling fine with no signs of miscarriage. (Since I don’t actually know that the baby is OK, I’m not celebrating that yet.)
Both of my parents have pointed out that I should be enjoying this time, uncertain as it is. I wouldn’t say I’m NOT enjoying it, but I there’s a certain amount of self-protection going on… If there’s one thing a deep knowledge of biology has given me, it’s a sense of the fragility of life. Every day I walk in to lab and I check my zebrafish embryos. And every day, like today, about 20% of them will have died overnight, just at the developmental point that my own little embryo is supposed to be at right now. So many things can go wrong at this stage. Too early to get too attached, lest Mother Nature decide that this life can’t be lived……
The prosaic bits: I ate a delicious spanakopita and, while savoring the last bite, remembered I’m not supposed to eat feta cheese. Oops. I’m drinking bottled water only because my (old) apartment hasn’t been de-leaded. I feel like a third of our grocery budget is getting spent on vitamins. (It’s not quite that bad, but they ARE really pricey.) One of my favorite special treats is to get a few tasty morsels from the antipasto bar at the grocery store, and I guess that’s off limits now because everything could be contaminated with listeria or some other type of food poisoning. Yada yada. Nothing’s really cramping my style too much.
Well, back to waiting…
Update:
The ultrasound was not “the day after tomorrow”. I did have an appointment, but they didn’t do an ultrasound. They just took a lot of blood and urine samples and asked me a million questions. The only revelation: it turns out I’m a complete sucker for being told I’m “doing everything right”.
My blood pressure and heart rate looked nice and low. That’s all we got! I was so frustrated.
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